Wherein I don’t bother to reflect or make resolutions because I am lazy and a little grouchy.

Week: 22
Pounds Gained: I broke up with my scale this week.  As important as it is to not go crazy on the weight gain, I was going straight up crazy.  I do not have a good relationship with food and my instinct is to practice caloric restriction, which is so wrong in this situation, so I’m taking away the obvious stressor.  I was weighing myself almost daily and obsessing, which is one of the things I spent years in therapy for, so I’m removing the problem for the sake of my child.  The weight will come off post-baby and at this point my body is doing what it needs to do.
Inches Gained (Waist): Total 7.5 inches, no change this week.  Probably because she removed her arm from waist area recently (I can feel a hard ridge when it is there).
Nonsensical item baby is supposedly the size of: a spaghetti squash, a papaya, and a pound of coffee.  Really, a pound of coffee?  Are we talking grounds or beans?  Vacuum packed?

Pregnancy Symptoms I’m supposed to expect according to TheBump.com:

  • Increased libido. (We hope you’re enjoying it!)–Why does this web site seem like it’s written by 14 year old girls?
  • Stretch marks and maybe even a brand-new “outtie.” These come with the explanding belly territory.–As I’ve previously stated, I already had stretch marks from getting fat.  They are just turning red and are visible again now.
  • More vaginal discharge, a result of increased blood flow down there.–Yup.  You are welcome, Kara.
  • Steady weight gain – about 1/2 pound each week from here on out.–I hate you.
  • Minor swelling in your hands and feet.–I get sausage fingers randomly once or twice a day.  I’m still hoping to be able to wear my wedding set the whole time, but it might not happen.
  • Back aches, due to extra pressure from baby and carrying around the extra weight.–Yup.  Thank goodness for my prenatal massage tomorrow!
  • Hair growth (maybe in strange places — sorry!). Thank you hormones.–Have I mentioned the hair on my belly?  I’m getting a higher slightly darker happy trail.  Thank goodness for tweezers.
  • Trouble catching your breath, as baby continues to crowd your lungs.–She likes to sit up in my lungs sometimes.  Other times she sits so low that I can’t get comfortable.

I seem to have developed pregnancy induced carpal tunnel and a wicked case of sausage fingers.  This is making writing my dissertation really fun (if fun=painful and awkward).  My wedding set it starting to get tight, so I may have to switch to the larger plain gold band soon because I’m not sure the wedding set will come off for much longer.  I think it may be time to go on a low salt diet even though my blood pressure is still fine.  I’m starting to feel like the Stay Puft man.  It’s epically sexy.

Baby movement seems to be really kicking in to gear this week.  She apparently hates riding in the car as much as I do because she was very quiet and still most of the time we were away for the holidays.  I was, of course, totally freaked out, especially after seeing a few things about stillbirths around this time (after 20 weeks is considered a stillbirth instead of a miscarriage).  Anyways, she’s been moving like crazy since we got home and I’ve been running to the bathroom like crazy.  It probably doesn’t help that I’ve learned that chugging a glass of ice cold water will make her dance for a few minutes.  At least I’m hydrating?

Oh, and I learned what a baby in the ribs feels like.  It feels as pleasant as it sounds.

Anyways, I found this post today, which made me laugh (and take notes for future use).  One thing that’s been bugging the hell out of me is this idea that my midsection is suddenly public property.  People feel free to just reach out and grab.  It’s one thing if I offer to let you touch (my sister) or if you are my handsy friend Mollie, but otherwise, if you touch my stomach without asking, I will probably be forced to break a few fingers or I will honk your boob.  Seriously.  I am unbalanced.  Also, telling me I barely look pregnant makes me want to punch you in the nose.  I feel F-A-T and that statement comes off as “you don’t look pregnant, fatass.”

Obviously the stomach touching thing doesn’t really apply to my husband.  I like it when he does it because I know it’s his way of connecting with his daughter.  For a lot of pregnancy he sort of avoided the area because he knew I was self conscious about the whole Buddha belly thing, but lately he seems to want to cuddle with one hand there.  It’s kind of sweet.  He still hasn’t gotten to feel her move, though.

Baby also made out like a bandit for Christmas.  My sister got her some seriously cute Christmas ornaments (we don’t really have many because Mr. Big Pants managed to lose all of my childhood ornaments) and A Pirate’s Night Before Christmas.  That along with the aforementioned “see mommy run” t-shirt, baby book, and onesies means this kid got an awful lot of gifts considering she isn’t even born yet.  I can’t even imagine what next year will look like.

Anyways, it looks like we might be close to resolving out housing situation.  It’d be nice to know which house we are moving in to so I can figure out what color stuff to register for (I’m not painting).  Also, we don’t really want to buy stuff until we move, so I would love to get in to a place.  My “nesting” urge is kicking in (another stupid pregnant term that makes me want to throat punch someone.  I’m not a bird or a burrowing mammal).

So, friends, what did you get for Christmas?  What words/phrases/comments make you rage-y?  Anyone else ever have to break up with the scale?